If you haven't noticed by now, I am in a bit of a "blogging funk." That's all I know to call it. I can't really explain it, I just know it's where I am. It's not that I don't want to write, it's just that when I get some down time my mind is so spent and I feel so drained that I don't know what to write. So tonight, I thought I would just post about the funk.
Like most of you, my days are filled with carrying out the call God has placed on my life. I cannot believe the things God has allowed me to be a part of and at times lead. I have served at Fellowship Church now for 10 1/2 years. I started as a part-time intern in the Student Ministry. Today God allows me to lead a team of Worship Leaders, Media Staff, Video Producers, Graphic Designers, and over 400 volunteers to create our weekend Worship Experiences at Fellowship Church. I love what I do! I love the people I get to work with. My pastor has equipped me and has given me so much creative freedom. I am daily challenged, and never bored.
Over the past year I have seen some of my dreams begin to take shape. Our worship culture at FC continues to change and we have released our first all original CD and live DVD as a reflection of God's movement in the Church. I have seen former students who grew up in our student ministry now take on major leadership roles in our church, and soar. I have seen the reach of what God is doing through our church and pastor continue to expand.
This is just a small portion of what I see God doing in my church. And none of this even touches what He has done and is doing in my family. And here is the kicker. In the midst of all of God's goodness and blessing, in the ripple effect of His movement in my life and in my church, I often find myself--sort of down. At the end of the day after seeing God do so much I want to share the experience and help resource the Church, but I can't. I am spent. I am in a funk.
Again, funk is all I know to call it. Here are a few statements about what it feels like:
- experiencing a lot and not having the time to share the experience
- exhausted by going FULL ON in my call and then feeling guilty about not taking the time for a quick post to share or help resource the Church
- coming in and out of my thoughts on how effective blogging is in the first place (did I say that out loud?)
- overjoyed in my call but also overwhelmed with the responsibility
- wondering what blogging does to help reach my hell-bound neighbors
- worrying about whether or not the words I write accurately convey what's on my heart
I am just curious, but has anyone else out there been in this funk? Even now I am trying to come up with some sort of point for this post. I have nothing. I am in a funk.